Without You
by Minuit Chanson17
Summary: To stay in his past and love only Anna, or move on towards the future with the wondrous and loving teacher Raine? He came to realize one thing. He never really moved on yet… [for St. White Day, it's a little early, Kranna, Kraine]


Wow, my first Tos fic!

And in honor of that, it is a Kratos-based fic! Anyway, it's Kranna and Kraine…I don't know, which is called one-sided love?

No particular spot in the game…well, maybe just before it ends. I'm actually almost done with it myself. (at Mithos' Castle)

Oh, and by the way, the fic is kind of related to the song "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder, so just look out for hints that are related to the song. It would also be a good idea to listen to it while you read it (the acoustic version would be nice too, since it's real slow)

disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia. If I did, I would have had made both Zelos and Kratos playable characters until the end without choosing one over the other. I do not own any of the songs that are listed, either.

MUST READ IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ST. WHITE DAY IS!

Ok, St. White Day is a holiday only in Japan where the guys give white chocolates, cookies, or candies to the girls. On Valentine's the girls give candies and etc. to the guys. Cookies mean "I love you", candies mean "I like you", and white chocolates mean "Let's be friends." In this story, however, I had Kratos have a white ribbon (not saying why he has it though) Why did I choose a white ribbon? Well, I kind of got the idea from D.N. Angel when one character (Daisuke) gave a white ribbon to a girl (Riku) By giving a white ribbon to a girl, it is supposedly saying that the guy is confessing their love to the girl. Originally this holiday is on March 14, but I got too excited to let this go to waste. So I'm posting it up (again) a month early!

_Songs to match the mood…_

"_Lips of an Angel" by Hinder_

"_Away" by Jared Lee_

"_Your Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

"_Goodbye" by Janice Wei Lan _

"_My Love My Fate" by Janice Wei Lan_

"_Scarlet" (piano version or music box version) by ? __(from Ayashi no Ceres)_

"_Hope or Pain" (Classical version) by Ayumi Hamasaki_

"_Voyage" by Ayumi Hamasaki_

_Or you can choose your choice of songs. Just a few suggestions I made. They're different genres, but hope you enjoy!_

*~*~*~*~*

"_Well, my girl's in, the next room,  
__sometimes I wish it was you,  
__I guess we've never really moved on…" ~from "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder_

_*~*~*~*~*_

Snow fell ever so lightly on the 4000-year old angel. But depite the light snow, a heavy burden lay in his heart. What could he do…?

The group was at Flanoir for St. White Day-some tradition Sheena celebrated with Mizuho every year, but this year, she introduced it to the group. It was also part-Valentine's party, not to mention that was so close. Everyone was inside the inn, all happy and drunk-hearted…

All except for him. He never really did favor parties. Well, not counting the time when Yuan secretly put some kind of "substance" in Kratos' drink, which resulted into Kratos being drunk (and singing horribly, therefore embarrassing Mithos and Martel). He claimed to Yuan that he didn't remember that night-it was just a lie, to be honest. He did remember all his actions, he just wanted to act a bit odd that night. Oddly enough, he had fun at the party.

Oh wait, there was another…

When he and Anna were in the very city he was in now, Flanoir. There was a festival, and Anna invited him to dance along wither her. Never in his 4000 years had he felt that happy. After, they talked atop the little overview that overlooked the village, the one near the church. The same area that Kratos stood in at that same moment.

"Anna…" he whispered softly to the desolate snow.

He loved her so much-why did it end so tragically? With his own hands, his own sword…and then to leave his son for 14 years. In all truth, he hadn't known his own son was still alive, but he regretted ever assuming that he was dead. Lloyd knows the truth now, but Kratos will never be called that name. The name he doesn't deserve.

Dad…

It pained him so much for those dreadful 14 years. But no matter what, he still loved Anna, not wanting anyone to replace his love for her.

Until he met her.

The woman who was there for Lloyd since he was a child, the woman who's heart was as cold as stone on the outside, but warm enough to break a winter's solace on the inside. She took care of Lloyd, as a friend and as a teacher.

Raine Sage.

No, no, he possibly couldn't admit it! Only Anna, only the woman he ever loved in his 4,000 years could be his only love. He couldn't bring himself to admit-at first anyway. After awhile, it grew, like a person thirsting for knowledge.

He did love her. Just straight out. He loved the half-elf and her strange ways, the way she looked out for her younger brother, the way she went maniacal over ancient items or ruins. She was beautiful, he had to admit. The snow matched the color of her hair, and the wondrous eyes that hunger for knowledge and love from her forgotten parents was just how she was.

But no, he…he couldn't! It would be like replacing Anna, and he still loved her no matter what. Besides, what would Lloyd think? He would need his son's approval as well, but it wouldn't be easy, seeing that Raine is his teacher…wait, but why was he thinking of this right now? It's not like he would actually go up to her and say it…or would he?

To stay in his past and love only Anna, or move on towards the future with the wondrous and loving teacher Raine? He had been forgiven of his past mistakes by his own son, true-but it was just the mistakes he let go of. He hadn't let go of his one and only true love as of yet, and he never will. He came to realize one thing-he never really moved on yet…

Kratos looked at the flourishing village below him. He remembered that one time when he flew over the snowy terrain with Anna. She had loved his wings so much, reasons he still didn't understand why. The wings were a curse to him, not a blessing or something to be awed with. But she loved them, saying that they suited Kratos and said that he was her guardian angel.

Pft. It seemed to be the opposite now, her being his guardian angel. A member of Cruxis didn't pass off as a guardian angel; they were more like war angels. But still, no matter what, he could not let go of her. Ironically, Lloyd was the son of two angels and Anna was the one who didn't like Cruxis…not that she was with them. She was in heaven now…a place where Kratos didn't belong.

He was a fallen angel. No, he was much worse. What was worse than a fallen angel? He did not know himself…he was practically dead. Well, he was _supposed _to be dead, but because he was an angel of Cruxis, he lived forever with dark memories he wished to not remember. Yuan, Martel, Mithos…Yggdrasill, Kvar…and somhow, Anna had to be tied into this situation. Why, why her, an innocent human…?

Kratos squeezed something in his hand. 'Hmmm…' He had just noticed it-it was a white ribbon. That's right, tonight was the ending of St. White's Day. But this ribbon, why did he posses it? Oh no, he couldn't have had possibly be thinking of giving it? '…Lloyd' Kratos cursed at his own son at that moment, remembering that Lloyd had started to tease him about giving the white ribbon to a woman. Well, it was just a joke, but now, Kratos seemed to be taking it seriously. After all this thinking, he actually wanted to give it to Raine, but he couldn't still! It was much too hard to just erase Anna out of the picture. He was caught in a problem he couldn't solve on his own…

"_Kratos."_

Kratos immediently looked up. 'That voice' he thought. It sounded like…no it couldn't have been her…

"_Kratos."_

This time, he turned toward the voice. As if the world was turning back in time, his mind was suddenly filled with the past memories of her…when he hid her from the Desians; when they both fled; when she had Lloyd, Kratos' one and only son; and the devastating ending of when his sword pierced her body and the last thing he saw was her smiling face, and her shallow voice of _'thank you'…_

"_It's done and over with, Kratos. Don't stay in the past anymore."_

Kratos weakly looked up, to see…her, the only person that ever loved him in his 4000 years of living in this dreadful world. The one that accepted him, the one that fought at his side no matter what, the one that smiled even through the hard times…

Anna.

She was right in front him, the fallen, broken angel. He didn't deserve her, after what he had done…so why was she here now…?

Suddenly, a soft, but ever so graceful hand touched his cheek.

"_Please, I beg of you to forget of what had happened. You're suffering…I can see it in your eyes, Kratos. You have always been a bad liar, you know."_

Kratos looked right into her eyes. She was a spirit, nonetheless…but she still had the same beautiful smile, clothes, voice…and he could not say anything at that time. All he could do was watch her…He suddenly felt a drop of water slide down his cheek. He was…crying? Yes, it was crying…he had forgotten all emotions. He had forgotten how to cry, smile, laugh, since she was gone.

He could not contain it any longer. The tears became unbearable, with the rain continuously sliding down his cheeks…the fallen angel, crying…it was a horrible sight…why was he crying at a time like this? In front of her? She must think it was horrible, but he could not control it…

Anna took him into her arms. She could still touch him…but her time was short. Martel gave her little time, but at least it was some time to deliver one, last message to her suffering husband.

"_You're in pain, Kratos…I ask of you of one last wish. Please…move on, without me…Kratos. You're pain, is…my pain as well. I want you to move on. Find someone who will comfort you in your hardest times, someone who will always be there for you in your good times. Find someone who will take care of Lloyd as a true mother…but most importantly, find someone who you will love and take care of as you did for me…my guardian angel."_

Kratos looked straight into Anna's eyes. He couldn't have had heard Anna straight…move on? Without her?

"_I will stay in your heart always. Never forget that. You can erase your past mistakes…but you can never forget your memories. No one can ever take that right away from you. Kratos…I love you no matter what happens."_

"Anna…I love you until the very end…though there is another in my heart, you will always be there in the deepest part of my heart…

Anna smiled. _"That's the Kratos I remember. My strong, guardian angel…"_

Her lips had locked with his-one, last winter kiss, until his fateful day comes…

Anna looked at Kratos once more, before, she heard Martel calling…

"_Goodbye, Kratos…until I see you again, my dear guardian angel."_

When Anna knew for sure that the Seraph was out of earshot, she whispered,

"_It pains me to see you with another, but I know you deserve so much better…we will see each other once again…"_

Anna disappeared before Kratos, and for a moment, Kratos felt broken once again. Until he remembered Anna's last wish…it was her last wish. Heh, it seemed Martel, or was it Anna, that heard his problem. Both he knew so close, but Martel was more of a younger sister to him, unlike Anna…

Kratos looked toward the inn where the others were. He started to walk there…but was it too soon to give this ribbon to her? Kratos felt like he was doing a bad thing…but Anna wanted him to move on, and Kratos…he admitted long ago that he loved Raine as well. It was now or never.

Kratos was just about to turn and go enter the inn, when he saw Raine outside. Why was she out here, when the inn itself was still alive with the party and fun?

Raine saw Kratos coming her way, and jumped a few feet back.

"You startled me…where were you?"

"I was just about to ask you why you were here."

Raine shrugged. "Lloyd said he was going to look for you, but he ended up forgetting, so I came out instead."

"But you could have stayed inside. Why would you obey my son's orders?"

"I wasn't obeying Lloyd's orders! What made you think that?" Raine bursted.

"Then, why are you out here, if you didn't come out because Lloyd said so?" Kratos shot back.

Raine stayed silent. She sighed, "Fine, I was…just a bit worried, that's all. We do need you for the Eternal Sword and all."

"You do know that I am an angel of Cruxis. I understand fully of why you are out here."

Raine turned to a sudden shade of pink. Suddenly, strong arms went over her head, and she felt the strong, yet gentle hands of the angel tying something on her head…

Raine felt what he had tied, and suddenly felt speechless. The rest of the untied part was hanging down from the white ribbon, so she easily saw what was tied on her head.

"Kratos, I…"

"It is St. White's Day. Do not forget that." Kratos looked into Raine's eyes and did something he had not done a while-he smiled for the first time in seventeen years.

Raine burst out laughing at Kratos' ever so forced smile. "You forced it!"

"I-I did not! What made you think that? You quickly assume that just because I hadn't smiled at all?" Kratos shouted back. It was odd, he suddenly felt…free. Free from the burden that had been on his shoulders for a very long time. He looked up into the sky.

"_Thank you, Anna. I will still remember you no matter what. You have freed me from my suffering…"_

From up above, the angel heard his last words to her. She smiled down upon him, and though a tear drop fell from her cheek, she knew that he and she will never forget each other.

--

A/N: I actually finished my first ToS fic!

hmmm…I'm not so sure if I'm so satisfied with the ending…but I am happy with the plot and everything…this took me so long. Sorry if Kratos was a bit OOC; I was trying my best to keep him the same.

I know, there is a huge debate over KratosxAnna and KratosxRaine, but I actually don't mind both, so sorry for those who like one or the other…I wanted to see how my mind would end up at the very end for writing about these two couples.

Hope all of you understood the meaning of that holiday…I forgot to explain what the holiday was in my first post, so I posted it again.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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